The term ‘resilience’ is broadly understood to be the ability to bounce back from challenging life events. All children will encounter varying degrees of stress as they grow up. Whether it’s moving school, getting ill, coping with grief, dealing with divorce, encountering bullies and cyberbullies, arguing with friends or taking exams. Children with dyslexia may feel an extra level of anxiety and low self-esteem due to their learning difficulty.
No child can be protected from life’s challenges but they can be supported to build the resilience skills they need to thrive.
There are many factors that help children to develop resilience. High-quality relationships are very important. Children need to know they are valued, listened to and that they will receive help when they need it. They need to have had the experience and satisfaction of overcoming challenges, and to have personal strategies in place to give them the confidence that they will be able to cope in a particular situation like a tricky exam. Here we talk about the ways in which a one-to-one tutor can help your child to build resilience.
Challenges inspire children to make an effort and to stretch their creative and thinking skills. When a tutor gives a child a challenge they make sure that the challenge is suitable for the child’s ability. They gauge this through observation and ongoing assessment. The best challenges are open-ended so children can take them in the direction they want to. This empowers them to make choices and to work at their own speed.
A one-to-one tutor can help a child to develop the confidence that they can solve problems themselves. Instead of jumping in to help as soon as a child is struggling, a tutor will give the child time to develop their ideas and support them to find the answers independently with prompts such as, ‘How can you…? ‘What would happen if…?’ ‘What could you try next?’ The more children know they can bounce back on their own the more they realise they are capable and strong.
Tutors know that learning to manage a small amount of stress is healthy for a child but they balance this with positive affirmation, optimism and with the aim of motivating the child to keep trying.
Receiving unconditional support from a tutor can empower a child to seek help when they need it and to have the confidence to try to work through challenging situations. By spending individual time with a child every week over months or years a tutor has a unique role to play. They really get to know the child, showing empathy when they struggle and delighting in their achievements and, more importantly, the effort they have made to get there.
Modelling coping skills
A tutors can show a child how they manage challenges themselves and the strategies they employ. This might be by sharing a mnemonic, an exam technique, a method for planning essays, or ways to manage study time. It might be sharing stories about how they themselves have failed at something, discussing how they felt and what happened next.
Sharing experiences helps a child to understand that when they struggle they are not alone. They learn that adversity can be useful because it gives them the skills to manage the next time they meet a challenge.
A tutor can play an important role in building a child’s confidence after they’ve suffered a set-back. They understand that not making an exam grade is not the end of the world but feels like it for a child. The tutor will help the child to focus on the future by reframing the event and by teaching them techniques to strengthen their skills. The starting point is to ask the child themselves what steps they think they need to take to improve their grade next time. The tutor will not make assumptions about the child’s difficulties but will listen and respond to what they say.
Can a one-to-one tutor help your child?
A private tutor can boost your child’s confidence and motivation levels, fostering a proactive ‘can-do’ attitude whatever their difficulties. They can help your child to develop the strategies they need to navigate the obstacles they will inevitably encounter as they go through life.
Contact our sister company, Tutor My Kids, to discuss how a tutor can help your child today. 01223 858 421, email@example.com